Quickly then. And only new stuff.
-Heading back to BYU come january. Majoring in Exercise Science. Plan to be done in little over a year. Heading into Dentistry.
-Purchased a 1995 Toyota T100. It's bad A. Thanks Lysh and Brandon for making me cool.
-Got a half tuition scholarship.
-Going to be living with my cousin Brad and Roman from my hometown, should be pretty rad.
-Got a job working at Old Navy. Pretty Gangster.
-Some might say i got the job because My Sister's Sister in law. But i have it on good authority that the hiring manager (pretty gal, age 22 from Bellingham, WA.) thought i was
cute. I tend to lean in that direction.
-That's really it for significance in my life.
Thoughts
This is the portion where i take things that have been on my mind and try to extrapolate.
Time v. Experience
Lesson #1:
So. I basically had a moment the other day where i realized that most of the world processes experience radically different than I do.
The Question:
In the below scenario, in a friendship, who is Joe Awesome closest to:
A) Family member, a few years a part, with similar interests in a good family upbringing
B) Friend since a tender age, played together all growing up, similar backgrounds and interests
C) Friend that was recently met, say within a few months, a very good first connection and deep conversation of an intellectual and emotional nature thereafter.
D)Significant other of about 6 months in a relatively happy relationship
I feel like most people would probably choose B. Most people aren't near as close to their family members as i grew up thinking they were, no matter how close in age, likes, or experience. That rules out A
D... interestingly enough i see most relationships of 6 months still exploring the fun, the newness, the more titillating aspects of the relationship. This isn't quite as applicable in LDS relationships, but it still applies in the first couple months of relationships. I don't feel like i see best friends in significant others within 6 months of courtship.
C is the real kicker for me. C is automatically ruled out in most peoples minds, at least of those i've talked to. Why? well, we don't have the time behind the relationship.
Time. That too often is the closeness scale on which people measure their friendships or relationships. Never mind that we've all been in romantic relationships where we feel closer to one partner, in the early stages, then we ever did to a different partner in a relationship of longer duration. Never mind that just because i've known you for 15 years doesn't mean that i know who are you are now, how you feel, how you act, or how you've changed. Forget the fact that we often spend time with people of no lasting consequence all the time. Not that the person is of no consequence, but the experience in which we relate to that person is near meaningless.
It bothers me really, when people try and tell me that i don't know them just because i haven't been acquainted with them for long. Not that they are necessarily wrong, but i look at some of their friendships and wonder how they think that they are so much more known because of the amount of time they have spent with a given individual. If i go and watch a movie with you every day for two months, does that mean i'm closer to the person you've had a few enlightening conversations for a few weeks? If so, i'd rather not be close with people.
Truthfully, i think many of us get caught up in the facts of people. What's my favorite color? Food? Favorite Sport?
I haven't had a favorite color for years. It changes on the circumstance and the mood. Food; depends. Sport, soccer. But what does that tell you about me? and just because you play soccer with me, while wearing that special shade of lavender, feeding me tortellini in a cream sauce, what do you really know about me? How are you a true benefit to me?
But even one step further; my history is no more significant to understanding me then a movie in a different language without subtitles. Expanding the metaphor; how much better can you understand a person if you happen to know the language it's playing in.
So i tell you some stories from my childhood. Maybe some are embarrassing, some emotionally charged, some life changing. But if you don't know how i handle embarrassment, what those emotions do to me, and how my life changed, than you know me no better than the next person. I may give you those subtitles, but it's so much more enriching to talk to someone who understands your movie's language.
15 years later, you haven't watched all my movie, never took the time to read the subtitles, and didn't even give a shot at the language... well, you don't know me well at all and if you don't know me... well again, it doesn't matter how well i know you, it doesn't make us close.
I've had a handful of conversations with some individuals where i come away entwined. A person then says, you don't know me. I frankly beg the differ. With accuracy, i can tell you how you will react in a situation and how it will affect you and what might be the implications on your emotional or spiritual well being. Sometimes we just get people.
My radically different experience filter? Time means very little to me in qualifying my relationships. And i prefer it that way. I prefer to pick up exactly where i left off with a friend i see once a year at best, knowing that we don't have to make small talk everyday about how our day went to remain close friends. And I thank Conor for that (maybe he doesn't feel the same, but this isn't his blog so it doesn't matter how he feels does it?).
So. Individual-that-i'm-using-as-a-type-for-a-principle-in-which-i'm-rather-passionate-about, we are closer then you think. I know i know, it sounds stupid, but i strongly believe that people miss out on very gratifying relationships because they are loyal (i could have used 'slaves' here) to friendships of chronology.
Annoyingly, it makes no difference that i feel people filter experience to their disadvantage. My experience settings doesn't give me access to change others. So i'm stuck, waiting to be close to someone because they haven't figured out yet that we will enhance one another's existence.
I don't care if you find this pointless or redundant. :-P That's me sticking my tongue out at you.
I think my next post might be one of those vulnerable pieces... ya know, the kind that shows you my tender side. Exciting I know.
Done. And i reread half of this and decided that i didn't care to edit the rest.
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