As for updates...

It takes so much energy to really do this whole life update thing. LSAT is this weeken;d. That's really the only significant news in my life. I'm ready for it. I think. On a different note:

"To remember this, to hold oneself apart from society, is to begin to think one's way beyond it. Solitude, Emerson said, "is to genius the stern friend." "He who should inspire and lead his race must be defended from traveling with the souls of other men, from living, breathing, reading, and writing in the daily, time-worn yoke of their opinions." One must protect oneself from the momentum of intellectual and moral consensus — especially, Emerson added, during youth. "God is alone," Thoreau said, "but the Devil, he is far from being alone; he sees a great deal of company; he is legion.".... But no real excellence, personal or social, artistic, philosophical, scientific or moral, can arise without solitude. "The saint and poet seek privacy," Emerson said, "to ends the most public and universal."

I have given some thought to recently is this article on solitude I read last week. Basically, we can't be alone, we are afraid of it, and we are a generation that wants to be known. Not intimate or connected mind you, just known. We become something less then who are or could be when we lack the ability to take time in solitude. We no longer understand our inner depths when we constantly are evaluating ourselves through only our interactions with other people. And those interactions aren't very meaningful to add to it.

Here's my point. I don't read blogs very often because I would like to look you in the eyes and hear first hand whatever is going on in your life. I'd like to personally empathize with you. I'd like to hear the things you want to say but don't feel comfortable writing down for all to see. If I'm reading it first, I feel like I must have failed you as a friend at some level.

I just want me (and I guess everyone I'm involved with) to connect rather then know. I initially cause a lot of chagrin when I tell people I don't care about much day to day details in their life. I don't care about work or what you ate or doing your laundry, unless it's significant to you. Unless you learned a life lesson or gained valuable experience (or it's really really pointlessly funny).
There is too much filler in all of our lives and we spend more time making small talk then facing the responsibility of communicating appreciable ideas or intimate emotion.

Do I understand the irony that I'm writing this in blog form instead of telling people individually? Yes I get it. I'm not changing any lives here I know. But what I hope is to be the person that can be still and know that God is God. And actually know God. And really know what He wants from me and for me. I want to be more like the person who has taken the time to dig deep into what I love and why I love it.

I just want some more meaning. Both to have and to give. I want to spend more time taking what I have and changing lives. So I'm writing for reinforcement. I'm writing this so that whoever reads it, will hold me too it. I think here's the best explanation of my overall point:

"Introspection means talking to yourself, and one of the best ways of talking to yourself is talking to another person you can trust, to whom you can unfold your soul. One other person you feel safe enough with to allow you to acknowledge things—to acknowledge things to yourself—that you otherwise can’t. Doubts you aren’t supposed to have, questions you aren’t supposed to ask. Feelings or opinions that would get you laughed at by the group or reprimanded by the authorities.

This is what we call thinking out loud, discovering what you believe in the course of articulating it. But it takes just as much time and just as much patience as solitude in the strict sense."

I just want to see the Love