It's So Hard... To Say Goodbye... To Yesterday

Saying goodbye is possibly one of the hardest experiences of our lives. For most, it's the moment in which the realization of the impending absence of a loved one occurs. I've made it a sincere practice in my life to connect whenever connecting was an option. I knew in a lot of cases that it only meant saying goodbye soon... I knew that pain would follow swiftly and acutely. I've decided that the memory, the experience... it's worth it.

Michael Earl left on his mission. Mike D has been one of my best friends for a few years. I know that he is doing the absolutely best thing in the world. I would rather have him do nothing else. But I miss him.

Sometimes saying goodbye is the only choice we have. Sometimes we force ourselves to do it because it's the best thing for someone else. Sometimes we have to look them in the eyes and pretend that it doesn't break our hearts. It's not easy to conceal the unshed tears

And when they look at you and hurt a little because they think you don't care, you have to hope that the hurt you cause now is better then the much greater hurt that would come later otherwise.

I wish the eyes weren't so expressive sometimes. I wish that you couldn't look in there and watch the lights dim just a little bit. I wish tears didn't tell you the thoughts that were never expressed. I wish saying goodbye felt right when it was right. I wish you could convince the other person that it was right even if it felt all wrong. But maybe it isn't right then.

I don't say goodbye unless I have too. If it causes me more pain to hold on... I'm okay with that. I guess what I'm saying is that I don't do anything unless I have too. I never say goodbye if I can afford it. But I will sacrifice what I want for what is best.